BEAVERTON, OR—in yet another first for the world’s premier athletic footwear manufacturer, Nike announced the nationwide launch of the Air Fornicator, a lightweight copulating shoe designed to maximize sexual performance.
The newly released Air Fornicators promise better traction during coitus.
Nike is proud to continue its commitment to new and innovative products with the first ever sneaker developed exclusively for sex, president and CEO Mark Parker said:” Stylishly sculpted and contoured for enhanced comfort, the feather light Air Fornicator provides superior energy return to reduce fatigue and boost the libido”. The visible Air-Sole unit can give you a comfortable cushion and shock absorption even you running. Solid rubber outsole keeps you with optimum traction and durability.
According to a Nike press release, the Air Fornicator’s cutting-edge support system creates maximum foot stability, which in turn improves coital alignment, increases clitoral stimulation, and deepens penetration. The revolutionary midsole component reportedly works to adapt to the user’s pelvic motions and cushions the overall shock of repetitive grinding.
Senior Nike footwear designer Barry Hudson said the shoe’s outer sole was constructed from a durable carbonized rubber to improve grip, enhance traction, and prevent slipping on a variety of surfaces, including carpeting, concrete, wallpaper, hardwood, and silk. In addition, Hudson claimed that the rounded CliMax-brand air heel facilitates more efficient thrusting and lustful pounding.
The soles were designed to minimize sliding around in bodily fluids. You can make love standing up in a puddle of massage oil and you won’t fall down.
Nike’s research department performed thousands of trials on the Air Fornicator over a 16-month period, including a number of stamina tests and other off-site experiments intended to gauge the intercourse shoe’s robustness. Engineers, who observed couples in a variety of sexual positions, found several cases in which the Air Fornicator suddenly flew loose during intense coitus, a problem they remedied by tightening the lacing pattern and adding a Velcro strap for security.
A nationwide marketing campaign for the copulation sneaker will debut this Friday with a 60-second television ad scheduled to air on all major networks. The ad, shot in black-and-white and accompanied by the Led Zepellin song “Whole Lotta Love,” features a montage of several slow-motion scenes. finally, a close-up of an Olympic runner, who bends over to lace up his Air Fornicators, before the camera pulls back to reveal his teammate approaching from behind with a strap-on dildo.
